Have you ever noticed that there are less men practicing yoga when you walk into a class? This is obvious, but why? It is not the best place for women to meet men but the reverse is true. Yoginis may need to search far and wide to find a suitable Shiva, and from what I have heard from women is that it can be difficult to find that “alpha male.” Then there is how to meet him, play the game, connect, discover emotional availability or any availability, and the list continues. Women keep making their lists, that describe that perfect man.
It makes sense that women may continually feel “competition” for a man of great consciousness. When this phenomenon is broken down and discussed as a topic, women have jealousy as a topic much more than men. It is a natural emotion because it is innate in women to “keep” the breadwinner as support for our family unit, especially if this man is the father of our children as a possibility to be that role. This fact may help make sense of why open relationships are also growing in popularity, at least for men. Women wish freedom and variety also.
It is an optional alternative lifestyle when there are many women outnumbering men, as the more society becomes conscious and responsible for ethical behaviour in relating, the less pain we tend to inflict on each other.
We become conscious through Tantric Yoga practices so we do not hurt another, yet desire is a strong urge in both sexes for sex, partnership and real love. We are evolving beyond what societal conditioning has told us to do, which is find someone and marry until death-do-us-part. Tread with caution though, the road can be full of bumpy turns.
When we take out stereotypes, fear and judgement about sex that most people, especially when single want more love and also erotic energy/experience in our lives, we can see it as truth. It is human nature to wish to unify and enjoy another person we like for the sensation of feeling “oneness,” and it is human nature, also for women to also be attracted to more than one person. It is just that these things are not in commonplace, polite discussions when we fear what others may think about us if our inner worlds and attractions are revealed. Oftentimes, sexual longings are difficult to express as it is not yet the “norm” to discuss them.
More and more, women are becoming more transparent with their longings for sexual experiences and this is due to the rise in consciousness and the chipping away at societal conditioning about women needing to be obedient, subdued, or accepting of mediocracy in sexual relating. As consciousness grows, judgement begins to diminish and we realize that we are not separate from each other. Therefore we have the capacity to understand through time, sharing openly our life experiences, and also showing compassion, that we may all experience what each other thinks and feels at some point in our lives. Practitioners of yoga and also those who wish to know tantra have a greater capacity in understanding with kindness that all beings have the same themes, be they jealousy, insecurity, sense of lack, etc. that we tend to hide usually out of fear or shame. Meditation and spiritual practices can be an antidote for ignorance.
Female yogis and meditators have a greater capacity to discern with whom deep experiences will be with, especially in our personal lives, and we likely have a greater capacity for discernment than men, innately built to choose a suitable mate who will support a family unit. This is perhaps why there is openness, more than ever before to share high level sexual/ tantric experiences, and that women are being more open to a varied idea of what love is. Women more than ever are choosing not to have children and also choosing to be alone rather than in unhappy relationships. After all, it is women that are the holders of sex. They also hold the compassionate heart, bear and raise children and oftentimes bend in relationships in the name of love or to support what is greater than themselves, such as the family.
Most conditioned people may consider themselves monogamous, but when the work on the mind is done through meditation and also Tantric Yoga the possibility of having multiple partners in which to share becomes more real with more communication and also truth on this sensitive topic. This is more than one possibility of why this trend is happening. Openness in relating or multiple partner acceptance is occurring. It is always there with men who inherently wish to share their seed, but women are also wanting liberation and a variety of different experiences in the bedroom after long times of monogamy or after stale or celibate experiences in their committed relationships.
It is nothing abnormal, just hidden, and tantra is a practice that is meant to bring the secrets (especially around taboos) to light. This statement is not to say that women want to have multiple partners in the bedroom, not at all. They are still naturally inclined to finding a mate and to being chosen, full stop. A tantric woman, also a tantric man, with the pure intentions of offering love to the divine is in fact looking or may feel as though they have found their “soul mate” if the relationship contains the essence of spirituality. No other person is ever a requirement, but others are thought of and invited from time to time.
A tantric way of living is one of allowing and accepting as it is the spiritual way, but this doesn’t mean it is about polyamory or about open relationships. Not at all. But when the mind becomes deconditioned from what society says is correct behaviour, those who are tuned into the truth can see how things really are. Once this intuition is developed the spiritually inclined can make choices, possibly radical ones that may take them out of unhappy states or situations that they may be in. Relating situations such as a marriage that should end or an affair started without all persons involved can come to light and even continue if consciousness and good communication are used. A great combination of yoga, breathwork, introductory tantric workshops and devoted work on oneself can help with authentic, honest communication with the maturity required to see that one’s actions are from a place of truth. Truth is love, and when this is present, there is the opportunity for real love to continuously emerge for everyone.